…..Lance CLARK’S running commandments. Here in Pocatello, the only Lance is Lance Clark. He works for our City Parks and Rec and coordinates the city fun run series, and does a PHENOMENAL job at it. He also writes updates for the his program, and everyone who gets the email loves reading it because it is so funny.
I have to share part of his latest effort (and I am assuming it is his own work).
“Here are my 10 seasonally appropriate commandments for running
1) Thou shalt have many other things in life that bring you joy in addition to running. I may have brought thou off the couch, but I am not a jealous workout.
2) Thou shalt not run to make your body a carved image. Running shall be for fitness and enjoyment and health. The carved image follows, sometimes. For some people.
3) It is ok to take the name of your running partners in vain during steep hills
4) Thou shalt take days off and not feel guilty. Rest as hard as you train, several days of rest per week are acceptable in mine eyes.
5) Honor your father and your mother, by running on all Hallmark holidays, rather than going out to a 4000 calorie dinner.
6) Thou shalt not use the words “killing it” before the whole run is accomplished. The crash is sure to follow.
7) Thou shalt cheat on thine diet after a long run. But thou shalt bear in mind that a slice of cake is like 6 more miles and that just isn’t worth it. Try extra slices of lean turkey on thine sandwich instead. But donuts are always an accepted offering.
8) Thou shat not bear false witness about thine miles, or thine time, or thine PR.
9) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s marathon time. Thou art thine own person, own it.
10) Thou shall only covet thy neighbor’s running apparel only if it is weather appropriate and you are miserable. Thou shalt not covet the color, slimming fit or any other fashion based aspect of thine neighbor’s apparel. It is OK to covet new shoes. Everyone loves new shoes.”